Then Again, Maybe Not

13Jul08

While I’m discussing these things, it does seem like a good idea to point out this piece by Jessica Valenti, which is old, but raises some points that are, in fact, helpful to keep in mind. 

Even women who don’t put their pictures or real names online are subject to virtual harassment. A recent study showed that when the gender of an online username appears female, they are 25 times more likely to experience harassment. The study, conducted by the University of Maryland, found that female user-names averaged 163 threatening and/or sexually explicit messages a day…

And while online harassment doesn’t necessarily create the same immediate safety concerns as street harassment, the consequences are arguably more severe. If someone calls you a “slut” on the street, it stings – but you can move on. If someone calls you a “slut” online, there’s a public record as long as the site exists.

Let me tell you, it’s not easy to build a career as a feminist writer when you have people coming up to you in pubs asking if you’re the “Clinton boob girl” or if one of the first items that comes up in a Google search of your name is “boobgate”. And for young women applying for jobs, the reality is terrifying. Imagine a potential employer searching for information and coming across a thread about what a “whore” you are.

Yeah, I know, I know, TAKE BACK THE INTERNET, ha ha, and this is not LiveJournal and you reap what you sow and the Internet is a public place, all points duly noted.

Still, it’s a lot of fun when your blog doesn’t screen comments, I can assure you.

Which brings me back to This Blog I Sometimes Work For, and why I Will Not Tell You Where To Find My Posts. To wit: one of my friends posted a piece about unrealistic beauty standards in fashion magazines; the site was immediately flooded with commenters calling her a “fat nigger” who needed to “shut the fuck up & stop eating donuts.” Another friend posted about a guy who seemed really into her and very emotionally open, until they’d had sex, at which point he stopped answering his damn phone. The commenters told her that he probably knew she was a slut, and that he’d just used her for what she was worth, and that no-one would ever love her or marry her, and that if she had a problem with being lied to and treated badly, she should close her legs and start withholding sex like a good girl. (These commenters were girls, or said they were.) I posted a piece about the word “slut,” and about the fact that, although I can use it playfully, and even self-apply it from time to time, I get really worried when girls actually start to police other women’s sexual behavior via slut-bashing. I got told (again) that I would contract the AIDS and die, that I was a dirty whore with daddy issues, that I had no self-control or self-respect, that I had given men an excuse to use me and leave me in the dirt, that no one would ever love me (this is the most common insult on these threads, and, while I’m being honest, the one that I find myself most tempted to believe – so, of course, it hurts the most), and, of course, that I was a cum receptacle and had probably been passed around like a joint and would have sex with a dog. 

Now, a reasonably sex-positive and feminist reader would see right through this shit. Are most people on this planet reasonably sex-positive and feminist? Dear me, no. So it’s a good thing we all use pseudonyms and don’t share them with anyone but each other! Ha ha! Right? 

Well, no. It probably isn’t right at all. 

You guys, I don’t feel like making fun of Keith Gessen any more.

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Tags: blogs, commenter wars, commenters, feminism, jessica valenti, keith gessen, privacy, TAKE BACK THE INTERNET